HTML Coders Beware! Funniest page on the web

[Dru Lee Parsec]

Hey there folks. I have mixed feeling doing this but I hope you'll understand that this post is meant to be humourous rather than spiteful..

I have found what must be the UGLIEST web site in all of god's creation. It's painful to look at, it's impossible to navigate, and for a site with so darn many pages it's remarkably sparse on actual content.

Here it is: http://www.geocities.com/lifemasteraj

A point af caution. You may, like me, think that a few emailed words of kind and well intentioned critisism would help the author of this web page. DO NOT fall into this trap! I have emailed this gentleman with what I thought were very kind and well reasoned comments and I got a flame email response that nearly tore my head off at the shoulders.

So enjoy this page for the artistic train wreck that it is, but please don't annoy either the author of the page or yourself by trying to help him.

Have fun.

I can't wait to hear your comments.

[tecknophreak]

LMAO!!

is that big old disclaimer-type introduction in reference to you or was that there already?

ok, after further review, it blows my mind! the font's, the broken links, the fact it sux, that is the ugliest(visually) page i've ever seen. that's hundreds of times worse than my first webpage. all font centered in the table, i didn't actually look at the code, but i'm guessing he used a table there.

AND he used frontpage for that POS! wow.

[Helical Cynic]

An interesting idea, in part of the site he claims to design the site for the vision-impaired...and the bit of BS about a site 'exploding' is a nice touch.

Personally, I don't like using Frontpage and such, but that's primarily because I rather like being able to tweak everything in vim...

[inkedmn]

um...

i can't get to the site. i've clicked the link AND cut and pasted the URL, nothing works...

:(

[LinuxAnt]

I can't get to it either. It seems that the author has run out of "data trasfer" which is limited by Geocities.

[Dru Lee Parsec]

It seems that the author has run out of "data trasfer" which is limited by Geocities.


Then let me describe some of the worse offenses:

Above the nav bar is the sentence "Navigation bar below". (just in case you missed it)

Multiple fonts, sizes, and colors.

Things that look like links, and reasonably would be links when taken in context with the sentece, are actually just underlined text.

Broken links.

His site map helpfully tells us that page 5 has links to pages 5a and 5b. And that page 5a has links to pages 5a1 and 5a2. Oh good! Now, which one has the book reviews on it?

His "Top 10 Chess Books" list says it's still under costruction. But if you scroll down there it is. Or at least 4 of the top 10 books. Well, actually there are about 5 different top ten book list of which 4 of them have less than 10 books. And all of them are in different fonts.

He helpfully tells us that you can see the rest of the page by using the "scroll bars" The words "scroll bars" are underlined as if they were a link. Gotcha! It's just underlining again.

The pictures on the page are greatly enlarged (Aledgedly to help the visually impared). But then why are the images also blurry? Is it because that's how the visually impared see them?

Did I mention the fonts and colors? Oh yes, I did. If he used just 2 more colors in his text it would actually CAUSE blindness.

How about the admission that he often spends 40 to 50 hours per page on his web site? He must be typing the code using his toes.

Once geocities allows it back up you MUST check this out. What a laugh!

[Dru Lee Parsec]

The page is back up.

[Carnel]

The page is back down.

The reason that it keeps going down is because it's getting too many hits (because of this thread) and geocities can't keep up... soooo they shut down the site insted. Really nice of them I think. "Wow you're getting almost more hits than we do a day, time to shut down your site for an hour"

[George Kilroy]

Pooh, its down right now. A year ago I found a site with a contest to make the worst possible website. I made an entry, but I don't remember ever sending it in. It had a blinking background made of brightly colored checkers, with green text that was really hard to see. I'll have to try that again...

[ 30 November 2001: Message edited by: George Kilroy ]

[bwkaz]

Up for the moment.

Yes, "sparse" in content. Although "sparse" may be too generous a word. I'm thinking more along the lines of "content-free". But yeah.

[AdaHacker]

The page is up again. For now.

Ugh. That's a truly hideous page. I'm glad I didn't actually try to read any of it. And the little I did read makes no sense. Why does he declare that he's the only chess site listed with "the organization for the visually impaired" in such small print? And why does it take him half the page - and it's a long page - to say anything relevant? It's a chess site, right? I don't care about his Amazon reviews, or how much e-mail he gets. Does it occur to anyone else that maybe this guy is a little hung up on himself?

Incedentally, in a sick, yet oddly poetic twist of fate, as soon as I clicked the link, XMMS moved to the next track in my playlist. It was "Let the Bodies Hit the Floor," which kind of describes my reaction to this site. Coincedence? I think not.

[ 30 November 2001: Message edited by: AdaHacker ]

[LinuxAnt]

Back Down :( or :)
:confused:
Originally posted by Dru Lee Parsec
<STRONG>
His site map helpfully tells us that page 5 has links to pages 5a and 5b. And that page 5a has links to pages 5a1 and 5a2. Oh good! Now, which one has the book reviews on it?</STRONG>

It seems if you scroll down he has a paragraph for each item on the map. :rolleyes:

[Dru Lee Parsec]

It seems if you scroll down he has a paragraph for each item on the map.

Oh! That's intuitive. &lt;/sarcasm&gt; :rolleyes:

Does it occur to anyone else that maybe this guy is a little hung up on himself?

You have no idea. I almost wish I kept the e-mail he sent me ranting about my comments about his site just so I can share them. But this really isn't a personal shot at A.J. It's just pointing out a very bizzare web page.

[bwkaz]

Originally posted by AdaHacker:
<STRONG>Coincedence? I think not.</STRONG>

Yeah, I'd have to agree with you there.

[vee-eye]

Originally posted by A.J:
How much time does it take to do all this? Well, I often spend 20 hours annotating one game in ChessBase, before I crank out the HTML code. Then it may take another 30-50 hours to PERFECT the page and make it really look nice.

http://www.fobot.net/lol.gif

A.J. seems to be the typical web designer newbie. Some of the most common mistakes newbies make are:

1) Too much color
2) Too many different fonts
3) Too much content on one page (ie. the main page of A.J's site)
4) Underlining text (only links should be underlined)
5) Using fonts like WingDings or WebDings (many visitors won't have those fonts)
6) Centering too much text
7) Putting WAY too much content on one page (ie. every other page of A.J's site)
8) Links to EVERYWHERE (Yahoo!, Google, MSN.com, playboy.com)
9) Taking advantage of all the extra "features" that the web host provides (ie. Homestead's My Comet Cursor, Geocities' Java Applets... Everywhere you go on A.J's site there is another useless applet. Who wants to play Tic Tac Toe or Video Poker when they're surfing a chess site?)
10) Stealing all the images from other web sites, and then saying that "You may not borrow any images from this web site" :D
11) Only viewing the page in the latest version of Internet Explorer for Windows at their favorite resolution, to see if the site looks good. Then slapping a "Best viewed in: IE Explorer 6.0 at an 800x600 resolution"

I could go on...

By the way, when you're using a WYSIWYG editor as opposed to hand coding, it's very tempting to take advantage of the easily accessible fonts and styles of the editor. I guess he just couldn't resist making everything all colorful and underline. ;)


*Credit goes to FoBoT for the laughing emoticon (http://www.fobot.net/lol.gif)

[ 30 November 2001: Message edited by: vee-eye ]

[Whipping Boy]

Umm...I could play both my tenor and bass trombones, euphonium, and tuba all at once and create a better page than that at the same time!

[Fimbulvetr]

I think i found the culprit:

http://people.clemson.edu/~lmurdoc/Fp2000.gif

Bottom right.

Edit: Because geocities doesn't allow linking pics.

[ 01 December 2001: Message edited by: Fimbulvetr ]

[George Kilroy]

Ack! The source is even more scaryer. Here's a little bit of it:
*******
*******
*******
*******
*******
*******
*******
*******
*******
*******


Edit: well it didn't show up, but its about 50 &-n-b-s-p-;'s. :rolleyes:

[ 01 December 2001: Message edited by: George Kilroy ]

[Dru Lee Parsec]

50 &-n-b-s-p-; in a row !! THAT'S why it takes him 50 hours per page. :rolleyes:

[xulfralos]

Maybe if he quit spending his time reading chess books and looked at a web-design book instead he'd get a clue...

Definitely too busy, convoluted and confusing.

However, I bet he could kick 99.9% of our asses in a little game of chess...

[sans-hubris]

It's not so bad... if you stood like fifty meters away from the monitor and looked at it cross-eyed.

[nanode]

A personal website is a direct reflection of the author. Just like a resume or business card, if there are obvious, sloppy mistakes that indicates neglect on their part. I may be wrong, but that's my impression and unfortunately for AJ I think he's a bozo for having such a lame site.

(I doubt he gives a rat's *** what I think though) :)

I'm stuck at work and today's Sunday - it's tempting to send him a flame email just to break the monotony.

[z0mbix]

oh dear....poor AJ. Quote:

'I offer great services. Another company that offers great services is "Delightful Deliveries."
They can deliver gourmet coffee and gourmet foods right to your doorstep. Check it out!)'

Would you try out this service????

[Super Bakemono]

That umm...makes me sick... :mad:

[jemfinch]

Ironically enough, it looks fine in w3m. You wouldn't really know how horrible
it looked in graphical browsers.

Jeremy

[inkedmn]

Originally posted by Dru Lee Parsec:
<STRONG> I have emailed this gentleman with what I thought were very kind and well reasoned comments and I got a flame email response that nearly tore my head off at the shoulders.

</STRONG>


could you post the response he gave? :D

[nuisance]

Originally posted by inkedmn:
<STRONG>
could you post the response he gave? </STRONG>

Yes. I would also like to see that. Even better, since Geocities keeps page stats, hopefully the guy will show up here to defend himself. I'm sure this thread is #1 on his link count by now. :p

As for funniest website though, I still have to go with this (http://www.pixyland.org/peterpan) one. :D

[ 02 December 2001: Message edited by: nuisance ]

[Fimbulvetr]

Sorry guys but I think this takes the cake:
http://www.morecpu.com

[xulfralos]

The weird thing is, the guy's site is free of spelling and grammatical errors. Now, if only he would wisen up on the tao of web-design...