The Windows Key Refund Project

[Trogdor]

Yet another heinous crime of Microsoft was inventing the "Windows key." By inventing that, they allowed keyboard manufacturers to charge more for each keyboard, Microsoft receiving a bit of the kickback. Thus, YOU have to pay more for each keyboard. Do YOU want YOUR money going to Microsoft? Of course not! What can YOU do to help the economy and destroy the company that is harming our good [insert your culture/nation here] values? Read on, friend . . .

I have a great idea . . . or maybe one that only I realize is great: we pry the "Windows Keys" off a keyboard, then write a letter to Microsoft demanding a $0.01 refund, because their software mandated that key, thus increasing keyboard costs, and we use linux. We also mail them the keys.

If you don't know what the "Windows Keys" are, look:

a) on the left side, between Ctrl and Alt.
b) on the right side, between Alt and the little "Right Click" key.

Here is the letter to send to Microsoft:

Dear Microsoft,

I recently purchased the [insert keyboard name here] keyboard. I was very satisfied with the function and quality of the keyboard, except in one area: the "Windows Keys." As I use the Linux operating system, instead of Microsoft Windows, these keys are totally useless to me. I request that Microsoft refund me a sum of one American cent ($0.01 USD) to compensate for the fact that I had to pay inflated keyboard prices, because your software mandated the "Windows Keys" be added to the price of my keyboard. Attached are the two "Windows Keys" pried off of my keyboard. Thank you very much for your time and consideration.

Yours truly,

[insert your name here].

[AndrewLubinus89]

Sounds interesting although I doubt it will work.

[mengle]

What!! Why waste them? Just paste a couple of penguins on them and program them to launch DoS attacks on Microsoft whenever you press them. (Just kidding, please don't so that; let Microsoft hang themselves).

[bryan.6]

honestly, i doubt many people would do it either. i'd rather have a windows key than an open spot on my keyboard where a pryed off key used to be. and yes, i know you can get ones with penguins or whatever, but i'm too cheap.

[rocketpcguy]

the windows key works with me, in icewm can bring menu and in fluxbox can bring in the samba share directory.

[soda_popstar]

But the cost of the post outweighs the price of the refund. :P

[Trogdor]

Originally posted by soda_popstar
But the cost of the post outweighs the price of the refund. :P Sigh . . . the whole point of it is to be a ludicrous attack at M$.

[Pafnoutios]

Where can I buy Penguin keys or stickers to replace/cover my Windows keys?

[EnigmaOne]

Originally posted by mengle
What!! Why waste them? Just paste a couple of penguins on them and program them to launch DoS attacks on Microsoft whenever you press them. (Just kidding, please don't so that; let Microsoft hang themselves).

I just programmed mine to turn on the air conditioner instead of opening windows.


BTW, I heard a rumor that microsoft is still in business. Naw. Can't be true.

[Brat2dbone]

I'd like to get a skull & crossbones sticker to cover mine :D


(before it gets read into wrong, skull & crossbones as in poison symbol, not a pirate flag :D )

although, pirate flag would look cooler :D

[knute]

You know, there's a third key that M$ placed on the keyboard as well.

[EnigmaOne]

Originally posted by knute
You know, there's a third key that M$ placed on the keyboard as well.

Aren't you talking about the one on the cabinet...
...the one marked "RESET"? ;)

[canon006]

I pried one of mine off, sanded it down, repainted it bright red and am in the process of putting "Panic" in small white letters on it. When ever I get around to finishing it, I'll take a pic and upload it.

[JThundley]

What aboutr the Windows key on my laptop? They are in the upper-right hand corner and are very small. I wonder what I could do with them.

I already have a fatty Tux case badge sitting under the arrow keys of this laptop. It rules :)

[Vador8088]

I say we further demand, along with the refund a "blank" key from Microsoft to cover the hole left by removing the window one...Better yet we right a letter (or just sue) the manufactures of the key board on the grounds of demarcation if they will not provide a blank key as a replacement or market a keyboard for non windows users....

[godhead]

I like the idea of sanding it down and writing panic.

but alas, my keyboard is yellow, with black keys, and I think it would be hard to paint black keys red.

i popped both of mine off. they are sitting under my monitor.

[AndrewLubinus89]

Man, keys are valuable. If you don't use it you can remap it to do something else! Just image, one key down the drain. I think it would be cool to have a "panic" key tho.

[hard candy]

I popped mine off and found that darn screw I had been looking for.
Here's a site that sells stickers to change your keyboard keys:
Novelty and Fun Keyboard (http://www.hooleon.com/prod-fun.htm)

[Hayl]

i personally don't see the big deal about the windows keys... there are keyboards available without them (i.e. happy hacker keyboard) ... plus they are useful anyway. i have mine set to bring up the Openbox root menu.

[owlish]

Yep.. you can just change the key settings in your wm and paint them/put a sticker/scratch win logo off or something if you hate it so much.

[madcompnerd]

Or we could all put our 37 cents together and hire a lawyer for a class action suit.

[hard candy]

Or we could all put our 37 cents together and hire a lawyer for a class action suit.
But he'd want a third of it if he took it on contingency! 13 cents gone right there! Better hope we win big, like $5 or something.

[owlish]

I am sure this (linux) community can handle that much.. some will contribute 1$ others will contribute 10.. some even 50.

All we need is a strong case thats sure win. Remaining $$ (if any) can be donated to kernel-dev team. the only and probably the most important project for linux development that concerns everyone.

[Trogdor]

Originally posted by hard candy
But he'd want a third of it if he took it on contingency! 13 cents gone right there! Better hope we win big, like $5 or something. holy crap! That's 500 cents!

[madcompnerd]

500 cents! That's halfway to buyin a new keyboard!
One sixteenth of the way to the light up one on thinkgeek :).

[mmills]

well, I really dont have a need for the key but Im not paying postage to microsoft, I have plenty of keyboards laying around, since I build linux mach's for a local pc company, but I think its a bit outthere...........

I mean by all means I dislike thwe whole microsoft production, what really cranks my chain is the whole mslinux (http://www.mslinux.org) I mean, Bill, come on Bill, did you really have to try an do the whole linux thing, get a life, I would rather hang my self than use microsoft linux...........

but the keyboard key....there is something called a sharpie! (perm. marker)

[spagnitz]

$ .01 refund for the windows key?? Come on now, think BIG people, you could get a MASSIVE $ .03 by demanding a refund for the CRTL-ALT-DEL keys, another set of keys MS has required manufacturers to place on keyboards.

[gehidore]

but what about me i use a microso... wait no i dont i use an apple pro keyboard (from the new e-macs) on my pc so all i've got is apple keys and in flux ive MOD4'ed them to be "alt" like on a pc keyboard

[hard candy]

Well you know that Apple keys are going to be overpriced at least 50%. So if you were to ask for a refund you would get 1.5 cents instead of 1 cents. :D

[Trogdor]

Originally posted by hard candy
Well you know that Apple keys are going to be overpriced at least 50%. So if you were to ask for a refund you would get 1.5 cents instead of 1 cents. :D Give me a break! The Apple keys are made of the finest keyboard plastic: thy type silently, are water-cooled, and look stilish. I have a friend who keeps telling me that the Windows keys are better, but he doesn't even wear matching socks!

[Parcival]

I keep my Windows keys in my wallet in case I lose the key to my appartement and can't go through the door. :)

[EnigmaOne]

Originally posted by Trogdor
Give me a break! The Apple keys are made of the finest keyboard plastic: thy type silently, are water-cooled, and look stilish. I have a friend who keeps telling me that the Windows keys are better, but he doesn't even wear matching socks!

Whew! I thought you were going to say that they were more user-friendly, easier to use, faster...something like that.

Socks? What are those?

[gehidore]

hey i have a good reson for my apple pro keybd

carp. t. syndrome (really bad)

it sucks and im only seventeen

but the mac keyboard seems to be the only one that is... i guess shaped right (i know it sounds funny) but ive used it for a while now and have not had to go a week or three without using my machine due to risk of perminant damage to the bone/cartilage

and without compy ix86 i have no income so i must compute or not eat

and yes it is a quiter keyboard so ha..

wow that made me feel young again

[canon006]

gehidore, I think it's the low tilt angle, I've got an apple pro keyboard attached to my other box, it's similar to a Logitech keyboard I had that advertised a "Zero-angle tilt" or something along those lines. Apparently they're flatter than your average keyboard, and that helps? I know it's a little off topic but does anyone know anything about this?

[hard candy]

When ever possible use a pad both with the keyboard and the mouse. Anytime you can take any strain off the tendons in your hand while using a mouse or keyboard the betteroff you'll be. So if his keyboard allows his hands to rest flat and remove the strain, then it would work.
I have a gel mouse pad support and keyboard rest gel pad. It's amazing at the end of a long day gaming, typing, etc how much better my hands, wrists, and lower arms feel. Also, get up every hour or less and just move around (you can drink coffee, tea, koolaid, beer, anything that makes you have to pee frequently to help remind you). :)

[Trogdor]

Originally posted by gehidore
and without compy ix86 Giggedy giggedy giggedy giggedy giggedy giggedy giggedy giggedy giggedy giggedy giggedy giggedy giggedy giggedy giggedy giggedy giggedy giggedy giggedy giggedy giggedy giggedy giggedy giggedy giggedy giggedy giggedy giggedy giggedy giggedy giggedy giggedy giggedy giggedy giggedy giggedy giggedy.

[gehidore]

yeah that bone on the outside of my hand (the one attached to the "pinky" finger sits lower that most peoples would so i cant use the arm rests unless it has wholes for my stupid nubs

hehehe nubs another funny word

and it is the lower tilt i think.