Small joke...

[roamingnomad]

Okay, I just moved to San Diego, and while installing the Earthlink software in Windows, my dad said this. He's no big fan of Linux, but he's not exactly happy with Microsoft either...

(on the screen:) "Now copying files from CD to hard disk..."

My dad: "Now filling up your hard drive completely with useless junk..."

and that got us started....

"... random bits are being put everywhere on your hard drive...."

"we can't even tell if the data is real data or random!"

"We've uploaded our program into your system BIOS so that, no matter how many new hard drives you buy, they'll all be filled up!"

Just in case you were bored. :p

[ZenelithCalling]

Oh dear, we've just reset all of your custom settings. So sorry.

Them: Umm, you need the msi installer.
You: Its there already
Them: No, its not
You: Look its right there
Them: What's right there
You: Here I'll show you
Them: That ain't it
You: Let me introduce you to my little friend. His name is NukePart.

[Satanic Atheist]

OK - we've started this now. Why don't we write a BOFH-style thing?

Hard Candy - you're the mouthy one - why don't you start???

James

Sod it - It'll start:

On the phone to Microsoft Tech Support about a failed embedded server:

[ozdream]

Thanks you for calling HP customer care how can I help you?

Yes, I just install XP Pro on my laptop and lost my one-touch button drivers.

Sir: Can I have you flip over your laptop and read me the product code?

Bla Bla Bla

Thank you sir.

Sir: This laptop ships with windows XP home we only support the original OS ship with this unit.

Yes but why are my one touch drivers gone?

Well Sir when you installed XP Pro it overwrites the diver dir and erases them.

Where can I get the drivers?

Sorry sir they are not available yet.:eek:

What?

Then how do I get them back.

Well Sir do you have your “recover CD’s handy….

You know the rest on the story:D

[Satanic Atheist]

Enough about technical support or I'll be typing here all night... I think I've met only one competent agent...

Is it just me being the cruel b'tard that I am who enjoys walking into computer stores looking completely non-technical and waiting for the sales agents to bite?

One of the most mermorable ones went something like this:

"I'm looking for a reasonably fast machine that I can access the Internet with."

"Oh, you'll need to take a look at these over here - it's a full multimedia machine with a top of the range soundcard, the latest in graphics technology [reading the card] and will even play DVDs!"

"Hmmm, I don't think I need DVD or a sound card."

"But don't you want to interact with the Internet? It's not just about clicking on things and reading stuff, you can do so much! And you couldn't just have a graphics card that's top of it's class without a matching soundcard [sic] to go with it!"

"I don't need the graphics card, I don't need the sound card and I don't need the DVD drive. What size of hard drive does it have?"

"Ooh, it's a 40Gb drive! You'll never fill it up, it's one of the biggest there is! [sic]".

"It's not big enough. It must be at least 60Gb, preferable 80."

"We can do that! Now, have you seen all the peripherals that we are offering on our new computers? You get a free scanner, free printer, free camera and £500 of free software!"

"I need the computer, the drive, no scanner, no camera, no printer, no fancy graphics card, no sound card, no software, no monitor, no keyboard and no mouse. Can you do that?"

"But, but how are you going to see what you're doing?"

"I don't need to. I've been asked to price up a machine for a Linux file and network server for a small business. It won't be a 'normal' PC."

"Err... I don't think we support that..." [definitely lost]

"OK, cheers for your honesty. Bye".

[Leaves store only just in time to burst out laughing]

James

[ozdream]

Originally posted by Satanic Atheist
Enough about technical support or I'll be typing here all night... I think I've met only one competent agent...

I know what you mean!!! at HP myself and two other friends carried the other 15 people in our area, some were bran new to computers and had the HP crash course (two weeks) and they are on the phone giving tech support at the cost of the Customers (no 800 numbers):eek:

This was at "Stream"...


Cheer's