...a joke to start the day!!!

[linuxmad]

..In a doctor´s room the doctor says to the patient:
.. You have a severe brain damage. You need to get a new brain or you will die in the next few days. I must say that it won´t be cheap.
I have here a few to sell. This one here is a brain from a Linux user and it will cost you 5.000 €. This one over here is from a Unix user and it will cost you 10.000 € .....and the last one is from a Microsoft Windows user and it will cost you 1.000.000.000 €.
The patient was surprised and asked the doctor why the Windows user brain was so expensive.
The doctor replied that the Windows user brain was brand new. It had never been used before.
..
:D :D :D

[deathadder]

lol i like that:

How many Microsoft Employees does it take to replace a lightbulb?

None they just declare darkness the new industrial standard.

Ive got a few funny tech support phone calls somewhere I'll repost them later

[deathadder]

just for the hell of its heres a few help desk phone calls:

A woman called the Canon help desk with a problem with
her printer. The tech asked her if she was "running it
under Windows." The woman responded, "No, my desk is next to
the door. But that's a good point. The man sitting in the
cubicle next to me is under a window, and his is working
fine."

Tech Support: "OK Bob, let's press the control and escape
keys at the same time. That brings up a task list in the
middle of th screen. Now type the letter 'P' to bring up the
Program Manager."
Customer: "I don't have a 'P'."
Tech Support: "On your keyboard, Bob."
Customer: "What do you mean?"
Tech Support: "'P' on your keyboard, Bob."
Customer: "I'm not going to do that!"

Overheard in a computer shop:
Customer: "I'd like a mouse mat, please."
Salesperson: "Certainly sir, we've got a large variety."
Customer: "But will they be compatible with my computer?"

A man attempting to set up his new printer called the printer's tech
support number, complaining about the error message:
"Can't find the printer."
On the phone, the man said he even held the printer up in
front of the screen, but the computer still couldn't find it.

For a computer programming class, I sat directly across from
someone, and our computers were facing away from each other.
A few minutes into the class, she got up to leave the
room.
I reached between our computers and switched the inputs
for the keyboards. She came back and started typing and
immediately got a distressed look on her face. She called the tutor
over and explained that no matter what she typed, nothing would
happen.
The tutor tried everything. By this time I was hiding behind my
monitor and quaking red-faced. I typed, "Leave me alone!"
They both jumped back as this appeared on their screen.
"What the..." the tutor said. I typed, "I said leave me
alone!"
The kid got real upset. "I didn't do anything to it, I
swear!"
It was all I could do to keep from laughing out loud. The
conversation between them and HAL 2000 went on for an
amazing five minutes.
Me: "Don't touch me!"
Her: "I'm sorry, I didn't mean to hit your keys that
hard."
Me: "Who do you think you are anyway?!" Etc. Finally, I
couldn't contain myself any longer, and fell out of my
chair laughing. After they had realized what I had done, they
both turned beet red. Funny, I never got more than a C- in
that class.

ok thats it for now :)

[linuxmad]

:D :D :D ... sometimes the best thing to say is SMILE!!!!!! :) :) :)

[superted]

Originally posted by deathadder
lol i like that:

How many Microsoft Employees does it take to replace a lightbulb?

None they just declare darkness the new industrial standard.

Ive got a few funny tech support phone calls somewhere I'll repost them later

hahaha :)

[CMonster]

am I the only one who still thinks a piece of Scotch tape on the bottom of an office mate's mouse is funny?

mean spirited, but -a few grains of salt on the mouse pad also make ball mice a might unhappy

[Parcival]

How many software developpers does it take to replace a lightbulp?

None, this strictly is a hardware problem.

[Icarus]

My favorate joke is InstallShield vs Linux
What do you prefer (and find easier)?

Next -> Accept -> Next -> Next -> Next -> OK -> Next -> Finish

or

./configure
make && make install

:confused: :confused: :confused:

[El_Cu_Guy]

Computer Stupidities (www.rinkworks.com/stupid)